Why do we hanker after what we can’t have? Why are we wishing for desires that feel out of reach?
“We all want things we can’t have. Being a decent human being is accepting that.”
― John Fowles,
According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, levels of dopamine — the pleasure chemical in the brain — continue to rise the longer you must wait to fulfil your desire (Elite Daily).
Which actually sucks when you think about it. Who wants to wait???
When we desire that which we can’t have is it a way of our subconscious telling us we don’t want what we think we want?
For instance, you’re single yet desire someone out of reach, is that a way of our minds telling us we don’t really want or need a relationship yet? To slow down?
Is it forbidden fruit, as in when your parents say “don’t touch the drinks cabinet”? So you sneak a glass when they’re out for the evening (and then feel ill and have to try hide why).
Or your diet plan says “don’t eat that chocolate bar” so it’s immediately all we think about, crave, desire, the feel of smooth chocolate melting on your tongue … sorry, I got a bit lost there.
Or is wanting something we think is out of our reach a good thing?
Does desiring what we can’t have help you rise out of your comfort zone and chase your dreams? Does it gives us that impetus to strive harder, be better, reach higher?
My question I guess is – when do we know what we desire is good or bad for us? Where is that line drawn between wanting for the good of our soul, mind, body, and wanting because – well because we can’t have and deep inside know it will be wrong for us in the long run? How do we tell the difference?
Be your catalyst for change
There's times when you need to hitch a lift, there's times when the galaxy just isn't guiding you in the right direction, there's times when all you need is the answer (yes I know the ultimate answer is 42 but there are many other questions).
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*Hoopy is defined as "a really together guy." A frood is defined as "a really amazingly together guy."